The Guardian

The majority of Guardian articles are all very worthy investigations into the illegal hacking down of rainforests in order to make luxurious tree houses for the children of corrupt oil tycoons, and how the UK's rampant consumerism is helping to turn the world into an apocalyptic, slurry covered wasteland. So why is it that the 'Weekending' section of the Guardian's Saturday magazine is full of glossy photos of horrendously overpriced, useless items such as 'A Purple Tartan Bag, by English Eccentrics' (£395), or better still, a 'Fiji Bistro Table from John Lewis' (£150) ?

That would pay for a family of Sudanese refugees to eat a McDonalds Happy Meal every day for about a month, that would. And I can't stand all that smug crap about property investment and reviews of £20 ' Space NK Cool Feet Airbrush Catwalk Foot Spray' (yes, a foot spray that costs £20, you heard correctly) and adverts for second homes in France- with pools of course. I can't even afford to buy one house, never mind two. And the only way I'll ever end up with a pool is if the sea levels rise and flood the stairwell in my block of flats.

It's all very hypocritical. I'll happily bet you £20 (which would buy me a very cool pair of airbrushed, catwalk-perfect feet) that the Fiji Bistro Table is made from illegally sourced rainforest timber and held together by glue made from melted rhino horn and tiger's kidneys.

I like the David Shrigley cartoons though.